Sitting

"I am sorry"
One doctor, three words, and I am sent crashing to the ground.
In  matter of seconds, everything is turned upside down. Surely the sun will not set tonight. People will stop in their tracks and bow their heads. The earth will be silent, for my baby is gone.

Wait ! How can this be possible ? I am still on the ground, in the dust, and the sun has set ! The earth has not changed its pace, people keep walking and dreaming and laughing !
I shake my head, bewildered. I try standing up. It is too soon, my legs cannot carry me. So I sit in the dust.

Some people sit beside me, do bow their heads. They take my hand and whisper the truth, soflty remind me
"He will raise you up"

Other walk past me, take a few steps away to avoid this hurting stranger. Others do not see me. They don't know ! I am not dressed in black, I am alive...
Swollen eyes, empty heart, covered in dust, I am the invisible mourning mother.

I lean on my hands, try a different position. I am on my knees.
People stand up, start walking again, at a different pace. They are waiting for me, I will catch up some day.
I try standing again, and take a few steps. I fall again and wonder...
if this is my life, now.

There is One who is still kneeling, beside me.
I have spoken to Him, so many times.
But He is silently waiting for me to ask

As I try standing, this time I say
"Lift me"

I am standing, shaking and covered in dust.
No longer trying to walk
Without Him ....
 
I am the mourning mother
Suffering and weeping
But standing and shaking the dust off my clothes

"I was overcome by trouble and sorrow
Then I called on the name of the Lord
Save me !"

 "He raises the poor from the dust..."
Psalm 113